This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
