i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
