You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The uberlube is also flammable
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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