Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize