Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize