I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
