She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
