I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
