apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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