i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
