the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize