Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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