And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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