what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
