Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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