Umm I'm too high to move.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
