I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize