Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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