she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
