i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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