I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
