I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize