I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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