I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
