she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
