I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
