we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
