that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
