Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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