why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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