I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
