his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
