i just google imaged poop.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize