just come out here and I will go home with you...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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