i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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