The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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