At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
