hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
