I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
tell me about the eggs
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize