Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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