Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
