We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
