Just cropdusted the office
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
