i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize
