just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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