wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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