omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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