I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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