I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
