You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
3pm strippers are depressing
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
