doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
