I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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