No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
