Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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