$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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