I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
