Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
