and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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