i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
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